“You are not a candle, you cannot burn out.” Urghhhhh. 🙄 It’s a catchy line, sure. But it’s also dangerously misleading.
If you’ve listened to the recent Diary of a CEO episode featuring business coach Natalie Dawson, you may have felt that same mix of frustration, disbelief, and simmering anger many women did. If you haven’t listened yet… honestly, you might want to hold off.
Because beneath the motivational soundbites lies a message that reinforces an outdated, harmful narrative: that if you need to pause, rest, step back, or take a break, you’re somehow not strong enough. Not dedicated enough. Not good enough.
And that message is not just wrong — it’s damaging.
The Problem with “You Cannot Burn Out” Thinking
Telling someone they “can’t burn out” isn’t motivational. It’s dismissive. It invalidates lived experiences — especially for women, who already carry disproportionate emotional, professional, and domestic loads.
Burnout isn’t a sign of weakness. It isn’t a failure of mindset. It isn’t resolved by simply pushing harder or thinking more positively.
Burnout is a clinically recognised condition that affects cognitive function, physical health, emotional stability, and job performance. It is real, measurable, and increasingly widespread. And dismissing it doesn’t make people stronger — it makes workplaces more toxic.
Why Messages Like This Hurt Women Most
1. They reinforce the “superwoman” expectation
Women have long been conditioned to over-perform: at work, at home, in relationships, in caregiving roles. Statements that imply we should be able to “handle anything” without breaking just add pressure to an already impossible standard.
2. They stigmatise rest and recovery
When rest is framed as weakness, women — who are more likely to experience burnout — feel guilty or ashamed for needing the very thing that protects their health and longevity.
3. They undermine psychological safety at work
If leaders adopt this mindset, it creates environments where employees (especially women) don’t feel able to raise concerns, ask for support, or acknowledge stress without judgment.
4. They perpetuate archaic workplace culture
Modern, progressive workplaces recognise flexibility, mental health, and sustainable performance as core to success. “Just push harder” thinking belongs to a bygone era — one that held women back, not one that lifts them up.
Burnout Is Real — And Pretending It Isn’t Helps No One
Burnout is not weakness. Needing rest is not failure. Stepping back is not a sign that you “can’t hack it.” It’s self-awareness. It’s boundary-setting. It’s what enables longevity, creativity, leadership, and resilience.
Women should not be pressured to shrink themselves to fit into outdated productivity narratives. We deserve workplace cultures that recognise human limits — and value wellbeing as much as output.
Because here’s the truth: You are a candle. You can burn out. And acknowledging that doesn’t diminish you — it protects you.
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